Time..

A year consists of 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525 600
minutes; 31 536 000 seconds… all of this seems a lot, but why do we
always run out of time? Or don’t have time for loved ones? I know that the
ideal is to sleep 8 hours per night, but I must admit I struggle most
nights to hit the 8 hour mark. I end up sleeping 6 hours per night mostly..
so if we sleep less, why do we still don’t have enough time to run errands,
have meaningful conversations with friends or stop and make small talk with
the man at the newspaper stand or security guard at work? I forced myself
to take a step back and critically examine the way I spend my time and
realized that I’ve become so self absorbed. I am consistently in the need
of “me- time”, which is good and a reflection of the fact that I am content
with who I am and where I am in life. But actually I’ve become selfish with
my time, not wanting to share it with the world, but rather at times
preferring to keep my time for myself. “me time” normally involves running
in central park, something that I really enjoy and love doing by myself. I
get annoyed when people want to run with me and I have to adjust to their
pace. It sounds harsh, but I am being honest here so please bear with me…
reading a book at the East River park overlooking the water… shopping in 5
th avenue.. a 4pm Saturday movie at my local cinema in the winter season.
All things I love, but why this need to not share it with anyone else? I
blame it on my profession; I am in a client-facing environment, where I
have to be on top of my game, attending and leading meetings multiple times
a day, manage my projects & teams to the best of my ability to ensure the
tasks at hand gets done in time. My discovery is we as humans were knit
together for a desire and need to be still and to escape from the madness
and noise of everyday life. [Lanie]** Sparkler

Anticipation

Anticipation goes hand in hand with anxiety, stress, tension and an
unexplained fear of the unknown. Lately I dealt with a lot of anticipation.
We currently went through performance review process at work, and the
anticipation while waiting to get my feedback form back made me super
anxious and nervous. I even waited a few minutes before clicking on the
link to view my feedback. Funnily enough while we are in the centre of a
project we don’t always think about the review process which will follow
the completion of the project. So I asked myself, why do I stress about it
now, but not while actually in the “active” phase where I have control of
the outcome. I released it’s my love to be in control… While being
reviewed I have no control over the situation or outcome, but while I am
working on the project I have control over the outcome, the progress of the
team, conversations and I am able to change/adjust proposed plan to ensure
that the ultimate end product is of a high quality while delivering an
excellent service my client.

If I think about my personal life.. There is definitively specific moments
of anticipation that stood out.. the day my dad went to the hospital for
tests confirming he had cancer and that first phone call from a family
member … the birth of the first grandchild in the family and waiting to
hear whether it’s a boy or a girl.. my US Embassy interview for my work
visa; waiting for that “all set- you good to go” confirmation from the
official behind the glass window.

I am not good at waiting.. Actually I dread it and might explain my state
of mind when I experience anticipation. But when anticipation passes by,
that feeling of relieve is priceless and perfect justification for a
shopping excursion to spoil myself. ** Sparkler[Lanie]

Fighting against winter

The past weekend I took a break from the buzz of NYC and went to Chicago
for a few days. The weather forecast predicted a windy cold
weekend…typical weather for Chicago. In my stubbornness I decided that
winter is over and I will not pack in a winter coat. So I got onto the
plane with a jacket, boots and spring clothes. Little did I know that the
weather man was also optimistic like me, and I end up spending the whole
Friday walking around in snowy/rainy weather, trying to tell myself that it
is not cold while I admire the architecture and beauty of Chicago. One
thing you need to know about me is that I get miserable when I am cold. The
jump in my walk disappears, my smile turns grumpy face and my hands turn
icy cold and numb.

In my personal life I refuse to accept a winter season. I want to spend my
whole life enjoying a “summer/spring”- state of mind. I want to jump out of
bed every morning and be happy to start a new day, but unfortunately to
become a stronger & more successful woman you have to at times bear the
winter chills and continue to walk through the snow.

1. I love you. To the moon and back tee – Brandy Melville

2. Chiffon Skirt – Urban Outfitters

3. Kitty Flats – Go Jane

All items are from Zara.